The first thing that you learn…

This is a very quick update about the train ride. I am actually dictating this into my MacBook Air as I still have side-effects from chemotherapy which make typing tricky. Hence the attempt to try and talk to the machine. For a South London Irish ursine speech recognition is very much a roll of the dice!

So progress. I finished cycle eight of chemotherapy at the start of September. Chemotherapy had been a long and at times painful experience. I will not repeat my description of the experience here as I covered it previously 🙂

At the end of the cycle the hospital ran a series of tests on me to see how well I was doing.

The first was an MRI scan which involves being put in a large metal tube for an hour while Einstürzende Neubauten play at full volume. Actually, it’s not that bad. You lie down on a table, are given earplugs to put in and then a noise cancelling headset to wear. The table then slides you into the tube which did not feel claustrophobic at all. And then the racket begins. At the Royal Marsden they can play your Spotify playlist of choice while you are being scanned. However, you won’t hear much thanks to the earplugs, headphones, and the clanging. The sound is caused by the magnets spinning and as they need to spin at various rates to generate the range of frequencies required for the scan it goes from a gentle whir to eventually the sound of a skip full of old fridges being thrown off Beachy Head. I found the whole thing rather relaxing. It reminded me of the early days of Warp Records.

The next scan was a PET-CT scan, unfortunately or fortunately this is not a CT scan carried out by a pet but rather combination of a PET and a CT scan. This one required a special dye to be injected into my veins before hand and then allowed to marinade for an hour before I was put into the machine, which was much like a standard CT machine only with the ability to bombard you with antimatter. Which is nice. I am pretty sure it’s the first time I was deliberately exposed to antimatter.

The MRI scan was focused on where the tumour had been removed back in January. The PET-CT scan was a whole body scan from top of head to tip of toes. The aim of the MRI was to check for any signs of cancer in the original site, the PET-CT scan was to check the entire body for any signs of cancer.

The MRI of the original site came back clear, however the PET-CT scan showed a very tiny “thing” on my liver. It was unclear what this tiny thing might be so to be safe the hospital then carried out a detailed MRI scan of my liver.

And I was told the results late Friday afternoon. Whatever the tiny thing was it was not on the MRI scan which was at a higher resolution and over a longer period of time.

So for now, I am no longer on chemotherapy and instead I am on a three month regular check up. The first of these being in early December. They are going to repeat the scans then and if necessary consider radiotherapy to zap the original tumour site from orbit. Fortunately, I do have a large stock of radioisotopes in the coal shed along with a cyclotron so I can always bring some in for the treatment.

The key thing about cancer is that like any chronic condition it’s about the difference between getting better and getting well. I am getting better but it is too early to say if I’m getting well.

The treatment at the Royal Marsden has been brilliant and I could not be more grateful to the staff and everyone at the hospital, including the very good therapy dogs.

For now my focus is on recovering from the chemotherapy which is left me with some lingering side-effects which will pass in time but for now make some activities tricky, hence me talking at this machine! I am also very tired and rather drained so rebuilding stamina and strength ahead of whatever next becomes a key focus for me.

Remember cancer is not a fight, it’s not a battle, it’s not something we have any conscious control over. It’s is simply a byproduct of the “good enough” error correction built into human cellular reproduction.

So put what energy you have into taking care of yourself, taking care of your loved ones and taking care of friendly neighbourhood bears.